A friend at work asked me recently what my vulnerabilities are during this season of working remotely during #COVID19. It caused me to stop and reflect for a moment.
I know everyone has weaknesses. Me, possibly more than most. Usually we deny our weaknesses, defend them, excuse them, hide them and eventually resent them. [Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren]. Being honest about them is always a step forward. But acknowledging them is only the beginning; using them to harness advantage is another.
Whilst I know there are many more than I’m sharing here, below are four vulnerabilities that threaten my leadership and personal health during these strange and uncertain times.
1. Task Obsession
I’m a self-confessed obsessor of “tasks”. I’m fanatically driven by a “to do” list most of the time. And to add to this, I’m a raging introvert. These attributes make for a dangerous combination.
When I do put the tools down, an ideal day would be to go riding my Harley Davidson motorcycle alone, going for an overnight camp alone, or having a surf alone. Can you see a theme? My wife, on the other hand, is craving hugs from strangers as she longs for external human contact during #COVID19 restrictions.
Many are surprised to learn how introverted and task-orientated I really am, especially given my role at work and in community is mostly centered around people. It’s just how I’m wired. I’m built for getting stuff done, and happily enjoy my own company.
Please don’t misunderstand me though. I’m surrounded by beautiful people at home (7 of us, including Slinky the Daschund); surrounded by amazing and talented people at work; and surrounded by compassionate and generous people at church – and for all this, I consider myself a richly blessed man. I LOVE these people…and everyone else in general. Actually, more than anything! I’m committed to what I do because of these people around me. But it doesn’t change the fact I am geared to objectives and tasks in the first instance, and I re-energise best when I’m alone.
With all this said, my danger right now in relative isolation is that I can forget that people around me need greater engagement than I’m inclined to offer. I don’t have the casual opportunities anymore to give a smile in the corridor at work, a handshake as we pass, a quick compliment or acknowledgment at the end of impromptu meetings, or an unplanned bite of lunch together in the staff room. Locked down in a remote working environment, I am alone. I’m okay with that, but are others? I can rely on email and short text messages to keep projects moving at work, but at what cost?
So I need to be careful. I am practicing to intentionally reach out to the people in my remote teams to keep the connection and engagement real. I don’t mind admitting that I need to work hard at this. It’s worth it, even if it doesn’t come naturally to all of us. I must continue “be present” with the people I work with to avoid becoming obsessed with the tasks and forget who I am doing them with and for. I remind myself daily to make the extra effort to reach out, ask after them, show care and be available. It’s possible, even if not easy for me. Undoubtedly it’s an effort worth investing into for both of our sakes.
2. Work Boundaries
For years I was a serial violator of taking work home, burning the midnight oil and forgetting the reasonable boundaries every healthy marriage and home depends on. With determination over the last 5 years, however, I eventually found a sustainable balance. I was able to switch off when I got to the dinner table with the family, and preserve the best part of me in the evenings for those who mattered most to me.
Working remotely during lockdown has made the distinction between work and home hard again. The lines are blurred. I don’t have a car drive home to signal the end of one set of commitments and the start of others. The computer is always on. The phone rings all hours. I flex my time “in” and “out” of meetings and kid myself into thinking it’s give-and-take; swings and roundabouts. But in reality, I know I’m working harder than ever, and I’m cheating my family in favour of work again.
I can tell myself these are “unprecedented” times; that a “crisis” demands this of me. But that’s a convenient lie for a task-oriented entrepreneur like me. The truth is I need to re-establish boundaries again. For my sake, and to model this as responsible leadership in my home and to my teams.
I have to give myself permission to take breaks. I am learning to switch the phone off after dinner. I’m accepting that if #COVID19 is to continue for an elongated period, this rhythm I’ve set for myself in unsustainable. I’m keeping my meetings in the ordinary working hours of the traditional business day, and I’m trying to stay offline over the weekends.
Giving permission to those around me to hold me to account is paramount to my success.
3. Decision making
As a founder of a business, I’ve grown accustomed to making literally hundreds of decisions a day. It’s just what’s required of you. You adapt to thinking fast on your feet, listening to your gut, following your instinct, and failing forward.
But this is rarely the best way to build great teams.
With careful mentoring and a growing awareness that the team around me was smarter than I’ll ever be, for the last 10 years I have developed the art of making the fewest decisions possible in a given day, and empowering those around me to step up. I call it “distributed authority” and write about it extensively in my recent book Outside In Downside Up Leadership. This is great, except for the new-found isolation I find myself in during #COVID19 lockdown.
Sitting at my home desk alone, with projects, objectives and opportunities displayed on my three device screens – I’m feeling inclined to revert to an old habit of unilateral decision making. Not because I believe I’m smarter than anyone else…but simply because it’s more efficient. Without a team of colleagues to quickly defer to by swinging my desk chair around, I’m tempted to opt for speed over consultation. This is a trap. I’ve been there before.
Collaboration is fertile soil for innovation and breakthroughs. But it requires intent. I’m finding I need to make a conscious decision to pause when I feel inclined to go solo on any high stakes matters. It’s to my benefit to ‘phone a friend’ to bring other team members into the picture. Share what I’m thinking. Ask for input. Debate the options.
I am determined to preserve at all costs the shared decision-making of our experienced team, even during lockdown.
4. Personal Disciplines
The final confession here is my reliance on personal routines and disciplines. I thrive on hard schedules, deadlines and diarised events. It keeps my world orderly. I am at my best when I’m exercising regularly, sleeping sufficiently, maintaining my spiritual disciplines of prayer and Bible reading, and knowing when my downtime is coming. I’m not as good with the spontaneous and unplanned events – they feel like an inconvenience and potential disruption to my rhythm.
#COVID19 lockdowns have obliterated some of my routines. Whilst this is not always a bad thing, I recognise I don’t function as well when the order in my day is upturned.
I find myself staying up a little later than I should, sleeping in a little longer than usual, exercising less or differently, and certainly eating more of the wrong things. Those covid-kilos catch up to you, and with it, a sense of sluggishness working in your ugg-boots while chairing important board meetings hosted through zoom.
So my challenge is to keep up the routines, even when they are not externally imposed on me. Or even create new routines – that are fun and exciting, and not possible when your stuck in the office. I am experimenting with push up challenges with the kids, trying some new healthy cooking options, and taking walks or bike rides with the kids during the home-school lunch breaks. And most importantly, my focus is to keep a consistent time for prayer and worship every day to ensure I remain connected to God and His purposes.
I’ve reminded myself how important routine is as a great enabler to my sanity and productivity, while preserving some room for the creative interruptions that come when your home doubles as the school classroom, local cafe, gym workout room and bustling office.
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These are four of the personal vulnerabilities that I feel are being exaggerated during #COVID19. If not handled well, they threaten my leadership and personal wellbeing. Recognising them for what they are, and accepting I can turn them into opportunities in this strange season gives me great hope.